I am just going to warn you most of this is just me rambling!
It has been a little hard writing an update on what's been going on since my last post. My sweet dear uncle has gone on to be with the Lord. The last few weeks were filled with roller coaster emotions, thoughts, hospital stays, late nights with little or no sleep. I hated seeing him suffer, but he was a fighter nothing not even cancer would get him down. Even in his weakest moments, and mind slipping he fought to take care of his family. Had talks with my cousins (without my aunt knowing) he wanted them to promise to take care of her. She was his main concern. Such a sweet love, ups and downs nothing and I mean nothing could break their bond. It's a love you think only exists in dreams and fairytale movies. But I can tell you it is real and if you find it hold on to it as tight as you can. On Nov 20th, my uncle left one love to join his Father in Heaven. He held the love of his life's hand till the end. This image I think is the one that sticks with me the most. He couldn't talk the last few hours, but he was still able to communicate with my aunt.
Have you ever heard the saying, death comes in three? Well you never think it really is going to happen to your family. I am here to tell you nobody is invisible to tragedy. Less then 24hrs of the mourning the lost of a man who was more to me then a uncle. I get a phone call from my mom, the voice on the other end was shaky. She told me she was on here way to meet my brother at the hospital. At first that statement didn't really pull a red flag up, not until she continued stating that Jennifer (my sister in law) was proannouced DOA. I said WHAT? Are you serious? (which yes I know who would joke about it) But this was something that was so unreal! She was in her early 30's, no known health problems. My family's world had already been turned upside down, and know this just made it a lot more unbelievable.
We had the service for my uncle the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and then my SIL's that Friday after.
Every family has their favorite family holiday, you know the one where everyone gets together and each year you just can't wait till that day. Well Thanksgiving was ours. My great grandmother was the glue that held us all together so it only made sense that all the family would go to her house and celebrate. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. We would always tease the family members that married in, "You know once your in the Austin family the only why out is the grave". And it was true, my family has lots of divorce in it, but regardless you were still welcomed. Got to love strong family values! Anyways saying all that you might understand this. These events happening the week of Thanksgiving, was both the hardest and joyful time. If you don't have a strong family connection you might not be able to see why joyful. You see a few years ago my grandmother passed away. It made me joyful knowing that they were able to spend Thanksgiving once again with her!
Each day is hard, but I have faith in knowing I will once again see their faces. I have peace knowing that my uncle is not suffering anymore, he is not feeling like a freak show (his words). The peace in knowing he is watching us and knowing he was proud of me well it is overwhelming at times. I miss him very much and my heart is broken not only for my loss, but for my aunts. Even when there were dark days. He was one of the few that loved, believed in me, believed me when I said something, never let me down, or let me go. He was one a could laugh with, cry with, or just cry too. God is faithful, and God is my provider and healer. He know what he was doing when he made my uncle and he know what he was doing when he brought him home to the pearly gates.
