Oh how I love Pinterest on days I decided hey I could be creative or crafty too! If you know me and I mean really know me, I have one virtue that doesn't help this fact.....patience. I have never been one that could invision something then try it only to find what I had invisioned and what actually turned out were nothing a like!
However saying that I have been trying to work on myself in many areas and think that patience is a big one. I am going to start working on projects throughout the next few months. Who knows I might create a crafty, well organized, on time person. Ok that's a little much.. Haha
I will post my progress and what I have learned. We will see, wish me luck and maybe my family too because they will be the ones living with me!!!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Praise Him
I have a friend, well we use to be co-workers. We have stayed in touch over the past few years. I wanted to share her latest post, it hit home all to well for me and I know several friends who have struggled with this over the past year. I thank her for being so transparent and being open about her pains. She did not write this post for anybody to feel sorry, pity, or to get attention. But she wrote it to help others. She is just that kind of girl. It's refreshing to see how much faith one has in God, even in the storms of our everyday lives. Makes me think of the song Praise Him in the Storm, by Casting Crown.
http://llbadams.blogspot.com/2012/04/bring-rain.html#comment-form
http://llbadams.blogspot.com/2012/04/bring-rain.html#comment-form
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Knitting with memories
About 2 months ago my mother got one of those Goupon's for a knitting class. A few weeks ago we finally had a Saturday morning we both were free, so we went. Riss wanted to learn to so we made it into a mother/daughter/granddaughter day. It was so much fun! Granted I think we messed up (me more then them) and started over more then we accomplished but it was fun. The ladies teaching the class, start you off learning how to knit snitch and create a scarf. They say that is the easiest way to learn, well my hands did not catch that memo! ha ha...I would mess up to the point we had to just tear it all out and start over. So discouraging to someone like me who is OCD about a lot of things and learning something is probably the biggest one. She would pearl snitch me back to the spot I messed up. And watching her pearl snitch half a dozen times I actually think my hands and mind would follow that direction a little better. We have another class soon and hopefully she can teach me that way. Riss actually caught on pretty quickly and has been practicing on her scarf a lot. Mom is like me, we mess up and get frustrated with it we stop till another time. So ours have not been worked on as much.
I am not sure how much each of us well continue knitting , but it sure was nice to take a class and learn something new together. I will post a picture later of our final masterpiece!!
I am not sure how much each of us well continue knitting , but it sure was nice to take a class and learn something new together. I will post a picture later of our final masterpiece!!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Prayer Book
I found this website on Pinterest, and boy do they have some great ideas for mom's. Here is the site
http://modsquadblog.com/topics/31-days/
I knew that when I saw this, I just had to create something like this. I did use some of their ideas and threw some of my own in there. Our oldest, Riss will be joining the youth group at church this year and she is beyond excited. I thought this would be a great Valentines Day gift for her, so I got to work. She had no idea that I was working on this. When I gave it to her, I wish I would have gotten a picture of her face. Priceless is what is was. I told her, I hope it means just as much to her as it does to me. You see not only will my daughters know that we are praying for them daily, they can also hold us accountable. We often take for granted that our children should know that we are praying for them. Because that is what parent's are suppose to do right? But I can tell you there is nothing compared to your child HEARING you actually pray for them and pray in every aspect. I want my girls to know that even when the make mistakes and they will, that our prayers are not just about those mistakes. We are quick as humans to pray when something is wrong, or when we need an answer. I am just as guilty on this one. But we as Christians should be praying for direction, we should be praying to God to get close to him, to develop a more meaningful relationship.
http://modsquadblog.com/topics/31-days/
I knew that when I saw this, I just had to create something like this. I did use some of their ideas and threw some of my own in there. Our oldest, Riss will be joining the youth group at church this year and she is beyond excited. I thought this would be a great Valentines Day gift for her, so I got to work. She had no idea that I was working on this. When I gave it to her, I wish I would have gotten a picture of her face. Priceless is what is was. I told her, I hope it means just as much to her as it does to me. You see not only will my daughters know that we are praying for them daily, they can also hold us accountable. We often take for granted that our children should know that we are praying for them. Because that is what parent's are suppose to do right? But I can tell you there is nothing compared to your child HEARING you actually pray for them and pray in every aspect. I want my girls to know that even when the make mistakes and they will, that our prayers are not just about those mistakes. We are quick as humans to pray when something is wrong, or when we need an answer. I am just as guilty on this one. But we as Christians should be praying for direction, we should be praying to God to get close to him, to develop a more meaningful relationship.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Starting Over
It has been way to long since I have gotten on here and posted anything. I am starting all over again and looking towards the future. If you followed me before you will notice I have changed the name of my blog. Just fits better to me at this stage in my life. I am committing myself to blogging more, writing has always been a peaceful escape for me. Thank you to the ones that have encouraged me in one way or another. Check back soon for updates!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Breakfast with Santa
I surprised the girls with Breakfast with Santa. We went to a place down in Hernando, MS called Cedar Hill Farms. It is a real neat place! It is out in the middle of nowhere in the country. The breakfast was small and very personable. Each family had their own table, you could take your own pictures/video and as many as you wanted. Each child got one on one time with Santa, a Christmas book signed right there by Santa. The food was a buffet, with all the great country style breakfast foods! My mom was still in town so she went with us, just a mother daughter kind of day!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Ramblings from the end of November
I am just going to warn you most of this is just me rambling!
It has been a little hard writing an update on what's been going on since my last post. My sweet dear uncle has gone on to be with the Lord. The last few weeks were filled with roller coaster emotions, thoughts, hospital stays, late nights with little or no sleep. I hated seeing him suffer, but he was a fighter nothing not even cancer would get him down. Even in his weakest moments, and mind slipping he fought to take care of his family. Had talks with my cousins (without my aunt knowing) he wanted them to promise to take care of her. She was his main concern. Such a sweet love, ups and downs nothing and I mean nothing could break their bond. It's a love you think only exists in dreams and fairytale movies. But I can tell you it is real and if you find it hold on to it as tight as you can. On Nov 20th, my uncle left one love to join his Father in Heaven. He held the love of his life's hand till the end. This image I think is the one that sticks with me the most. He couldn't talk the last few hours, but he was still able to communicate with my aunt.
Have you ever heard the saying, death comes in three? Well you never think it really is going to happen to your family. I am here to tell you nobody is invisible to tragedy. Less then 24hrs of the mourning the lost of a man who was more to me then a uncle. I get a phone call from my mom, the voice on the other end was shaky. She told me she was on here way to meet my brother at the hospital. At first that statement didn't really pull a red flag up, not until she continued stating that Jennifer (my sister in law) was proannouced DOA. I said WHAT? Are you serious? (which yes I know who would joke about it) But this was something that was so unreal! She was in her early 30's, no known health problems. My family's world had already been turned upside down, and know this just made it a lot more unbelievable.
We had the service for my uncle the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and then my SIL's that Friday after.
Every family has their favorite family holiday, you know the one where everyone gets together and each year you just can't wait till that day. Well Thanksgiving was ours. My great grandmother was the glue that held us all together so it only made sense that all the family would go to her house and celebrate. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. We would always tease the family members that married in, "You know once your in the Austin family the only why out is the grave". And it was true, my family has lots of divorce in it, but regardless you were still welcomed. Got to love strong family values! Anyways saying all that you might understand this. These events happening the week of Thanksgiving, was both the hardest and joyful time. If you don't have a strong family connection you might not be able to see why joyful. You see a few years ago my grandmother passed away. It made me joyful knowing that they were able to spend Thanksgiving once again with her!
Each day is hard, but I have faith in knowing I will once again see their faces. I have peace knowing that my uncle is not suffering anymore, he is not feeling like a freak show (his words). The peace in knowing he is watching us and knowing he was proud of me well it is overwhelming at times. I miss him very much and my heart is broken not only for my loss, but for my aunts. Even when there were dark days. He was one of the few that loved, believed in me, believed me when I said something, never let me down, or let me go. He was one a could laugh with, cry with, or just cry too. God is faithful, and God is my provider and healer. He know what he was doing when he made my uncle and he know what he was doing when he brought him home to the pearly gates.
It has been a little hard writing an update on what's been going on since my last post. My sweet dear uncle has gone on to be with the Lord. The last few weeks were filled with roller coaster emotions, thoughts, hospital stays, late nights with little or no sleep. I hated seeing him suffer, but he was a fighter nothing not even cancer would get him down. Even in his weakest moments, and mind slipping he fought to take care of his family. Had talks with my cousins (without my aunt knowing) he wanted them to promise to take care of her. She was his main concern. Such a sweet love, ups and downs nothing and I mean nothing could break their bond. It's a love you think only exists in dreams and fairytale movies. But I can tell you it is real and if you find it hold on to it as tight as you can. On Nov 20th, my uncle left one love to join his Father in Heaven. He held the love of his life's hand till the end. This image I think is the one that sticks with me the most. He couldn't talk the last few hours, but he was still able to communicate with my aunt.
Have you ever heard the saying, death comes in three? Well you never think it really is going to happen to your family. I am here to tell you nobody is invisible to tragedy. Less then 24hrs of the mourning the lost of a man who was more to me then a uncle. I get a phone call from my mom, the voice on the other end was shaky. She told me she was on here way to meet my brother at the hospital. At first that statement didn't really pull a red flag up, not until she continued stating that Jennifer (my sister in law) was proannouced DOA. I said WHAT? Are you serious? (which yes I know who would joke about it) But this was something that was so unreal! She was in her early 30's, no known health problems. My family's world had already been turned upside down, and know this just made it a lot more unbelievable.
We had the service for my uncle the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and then my SIL's that Friday after.
Every family has their favorite family holiday, you know the one where everyone gets together and each year you just can't wait till that day. Well Thanksgiving was ours. My great grandmother was the glue that held us all together so it only made sense that all the family would go to her house and celebrate. And when I say everyone I mean everyone. We would always tease the family members that married in, "You know once your in the Austin family the only why out is the grave". And it was true, my family has lots of divorce in it, but regardless you were still welcomed. Got to love strong family values! Anyways saying all that you might understand this. These events happening the week of Thanksgiving, was both the hardest and joyful time. If you don't have a strong family connection you might not be able to see why joyful. You see a few years ago my grandmother passed away. It made me joyful knowing that they were able to spend Thanksgiving once again with her!
Each day is hard, but I have faith in knowing I will once again see their faces. I have peace knowing that my uncle is not suffering anymore, he is not feeling like a freak show (his words). The peace in knowing he is watching us and knowing he was proud of me well it is overwhelming at times. I miss him very much and my heart is broken not only for my loss, but for my aunts. Even when there were dark days. He was one of the few that loved, believed in me, believed me when I said something, never let me down, or let me go. He was one a could laugh with, cry with, or just cry too. God is faithful, and God is my provider and healer. He know what he was doing when he made my uncle and he know what he was doing when he brought him home to the pearly gates.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
"What Love Really Means"
This song by JJ Heller brings such truth, and tears. I am blessed to have not only God's unconditional love in my life but some great family also. The past few days my Aunt's voice has rung in my head.....your Uncle Steve and I are so proud of you and who you have become, the values you hold. They have never looked down upon me nor given up on me, or become ashamed of me and my wrong choices. They have both fought for me and never excepted anything in return. Now as my Uncle fights the biggest and hardest battle of his life.....I feel helpless. I want to take his pain away. My aunt's pain, such a strong woman! She has had the weight of the world on her shoulders the past few years.
I have since the day the cancer was found wondered "WHY?". All those questions ran though my head! Oh God why him?, why this?, why now?. Then the ok God what do WE do to fix this questions started coming. I was (well still) just numb in complete disbelief. Then I turned to prayer just like any one of his children would do. My prayers where all around about the same. "Oh God hear our cries, hear our plead. I pray that your final report is different then the doctors." And more with about the same content. I had asked so many people to please pray. Not because I wanted people to just know my families issues, but I think prayer can and need to be done and by multiplying that I thought well our odds will increase!! Well we all know how that ended....... I began noticing that the more we needed prayer and asked for it, the more I felt we were being ignored and forgotten. MAN did that bitterness come QUICKLY! As my Uncle continued battling this ugly demon as I call it (cancer), I begin questioning more things in my life. Yep that is how it starts, one thing goes wrong and as humans we feel the need to blame someone. And sadly enough God usually is the one on the other end of that. And yes I am guilty of this as well as my family.
As the doctors came in to his hospital room on Thursday to paint a very grim and no option left news, my Uncle the one whom I love ohh so much had a brief moment of the one I knew and grew up with! He became real adamant that he was going to fight this!!!! He was going to keep his appointment for this Wednesday in Houston at MD Anderson and come up with an option. He is determined, and his will to fight reminded me of some things. One is that the final doctor's report is GOD"S REPORT! And if my uncle could be so passionate in his fight to live longer then how could I not keep my fight to spiritually live! I as a human do not have to understand the events in my life, I just have to have enough faith and trust in GOD to know that he loves us. That as long as we are faithful to him and follow his will for our lives we will be ok. I am no where near where God wants me! But I am going to fight the same fight to live! Just please continue praying for my family in this time.
Thanks!
This is a verse from a song that I found, it's:
I Know You Now by 4HIM
looked at faith, I almost walked away
But I looked again
I found the nerve to close my eyes and say the words
To ask You in
And I heard no heavenly choir
No angels in white attire
I got no amazing super human omnipresent power but
I have since the day the cancer was found wondered "WHY?". All those questions ran though my head! Oh God why him?, why this?, why now?. Then the ok God what do WE do to fix this questions started coming. I was (well still) just numb in complete disbelief. Then I turned to prayer just like any one of his children would do. My prayers where all around about the same. "Oh God hear our cries, hear our plead. I pray that your final report is different then the doctors." And more with about the same content. I had asked so many people to please pray. Not because I wanted people to just know my families issues, but I think prayer can and need to be done and by multiplying that I thought well our odds will increase!! Well we all know how that ended....... I began noticing that the more we needed prayer and asked for it, the more I felt we were being ignored and forgotten. MAN did that bitterness come QUICKLY! As my Uncle continued battling this ugly demon as I call it (cancer), I begin questioning more things in my life. Yep that is how it starts, one thing goes wrong and as humans we feel the need to blame someone. And sadly enough God usually is the one on the other end of that. And yes I am guilty of this as well as my family.
As the doctors came in to his hospital room on Thursday to paint a very grim and no option left news, my Uncle the one whom I love ohh so much had a brief moment of the one I knew and grew up with! He became real adamant that he was going to fight this!!!! He was going to keep his appointment for this Wednesday in Houston at MD Anderson and come up with an option. He is determined, and his will to fight reminded me of some things. One is that the final doctor's report is GOD"S REPORT! And if my uncle could be so passionate in his fight to live longer then how could I not keep my fight to spiritually live! I as a human do not have to understand the events in my life, I just have to have enough faith and trust in GOD to know that he loves us. That as long as we are faithful to him and follow his will for our lives we will be ok. I am no where near where God wants me! But I am going to fight the same fight to live! Just please continue praying for my family in this time.
Thanks!
This is a verse from a song that I found, it's:
I Know You Now by 4HIM
looked at faith, I almost walked away
But I looked again
I found the nerve to close my eyes and say the words
To ask You in
And I heard no heavenly choir
No angels in white attire
I got no amazing super human omnipresent power but
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Loralei's first Halloween
Friday, October 29, 2010
Getting Back My Focus
As I sit here at the kitchen table, suppose to be working on a research paper (that mind you I haven't even started) my mind is just a racing. My mind is jumping around several subjects at once, from my uncle and what he is enduring, to house is a wreck, from there it seemed to go to bills, to the melt down my 10 year old had at JCPenney's tonight, to my weight problem then to am I being all to my family/husband that I need to be, and once again to am I failing as a parent? We all have days where between kids melting down, the dishes piled high and not a clean thing in the house, makes us second guess where are focus should be. Someone once told me that there are days you just need to let the housework pile up and take the time to just play. I honestly cannot remember the last time I did that. I am usually rushing home so that I can relieve my mother in law (which is awesome by the way), because she comes straight from a 8 to sometimes 10 hour 3rd shift job and keeps my girls when Brian and I are at work. Once I get home, then its like a marathon most days; get dinner ready, feed the girls, clean the kitchen, pick up around the house. Then at some point before bedtime we will have a meltdown with the older of the two girls,which sadly is a constant battle most day. Then bath time, bed time and then I continue running either school work or some other type of housework that didn't get completed or may not have even got started! By time a stop for a moment some nights its midnight and I just go to bed, all to start over again in 6 hours. There is no wonder I am tired and have bags under my eyes. I can't even seem to find the time to breathe, I am always stressed. I say all of that to say I am completely unfocused on what God has intended for me to focus on. Yes I work full time and go to school full time, but that is not my number one goal in life. God created me and he has saved me more times then I would like to admit some days. I owe him all the glory and well these days that has been real difficult for me to get too. Some folks would tell me, well you should give up something school or work. Well as much as I would love to stay home full time with my girls, right now is not an option. I have a great support system in my family. I don't think I could take on anything additional at this point. All I need to do is get refocused, put my eyes, heart and life back in God.
I opened my Bible up in the midst of this post and John 14 was what I opened it straight to. I have never fully studied each book of the bible, and John is one I am not familiar with at all. But as I begin to read the verses, they just seemed to work with this post. So enjoy:
John 14: 27-30
"I am leaving you with a gift-- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe. I don't have much more time to talk to you, because the ruler of this world approaches. He has no power over me, but I will do what the Father requires of me, so that the world will know that I love the Father. Come, let's be going."
Now again let me say I have not studied the book of John. But I do know that out of this verse I get this: I have to show the world that I love God, I have to be willing to fail in the world's eyes even if it's only to focus time on my relationship with God. For our Father is coming back one day! And I really think if he had the choice of stepping on toys all over my messy house, or walking in my home and feeling the peace and love for him all around. I would like to think he would choose the later of the two, because he tells us that, the peace he gives to us is one the world cannot give. So are you at peace when your home is in complete order but no solid relationship with God? Or is your life a mess per say, but you have a wonderful relationship with God? Everyone has crazy days, some more then others. But remember to keep God as your focus, and if you do that then the peace he gives us will help us stay focused on the other tasks in our lives. BUT HE HAS TO BE THE CENTRAL OF IT ALL!
Thanks for reading my unorganized post....he he
Hope you enjoyed and just maybe it was encouraging to someone!
The next verse
I opened my Bible up in the midst of this post and John 14 was what I opened it straight to. I have never fully studied each book of the bible, and John is one I am not familiar with at all. But as I begin to read the verses, they just seemed to work with this post. So enjoy:
John 14: 27-30
"I am leaving you with a gift-- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe. I don't have much more time to talk to you, because the ruler of this world approaches. He has no power over me, but I will do what the Father requires of me, so that the world will know that I love the Father. Come, let's be going."
Now again let me say I have not studied the book of John. But I do know that out of this verse I get this: I have to show the world that I love God, I have to be willing to fail in the world's eyes even if it's only to focus time on my relationship with God. For our Father is coming back one day! And I really think if he had the choice of stepping on toys all over my messy house, or walking in my home and feeling the peace and love for him all around. I would like to think he would choose the later of the two, because he tells us that, the peace he gives to us is one the world cannot give. So are you at peace when your home is in complete order but no solid relationship with God? Or is your life a mess per say, but you have a wonderful relationship with God? Everyone has crazy days, some more then others. But remember to keep God as your focus, and if you do that then the peace he gives us will help us stay focused on the other tasks in our lives. BUT HE HAS TO BE THE CENTRAL OF IT ALL!
Thanks for reading my unorganized post....he he
Hope you enjoyed and just maybe it was encouraging to someone!
The next verse
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My Uncle Steve
For those of you that are not aware of the fight my uncle is fighting against cancer, this is a little about it. My uncle had been sick for about a year, had a huge knot in his stomach. He was finally diagnosed with sarcoma. It is a very hard cancer to detect and this particular one is, called soft-tissue sarcoma. He has had 3 surgery's, his last one was back in April of this year and he went to MB Anderson in Houston, TX. He has had a number of chemo and radiation treatments all within the past 2 years this month to date. He had to have a blood transfusion last month because his blood count was low. And this brings me to current day.
Yesterday I got a call from my Aunt, stating my uncle's blood count was extremely LOW. He went to his doctor at The West Clinic here in Memphis and they said he count was 21. For a man the normal is 50's. They sent him to be admitted to the hospital for another blood transfusion. I got off work and meet them at the hospital. He needed 2 to 3 pints of blood, each pint takes about 3 hours. They finally got started on it about 9pm. He did eat pretty good before they begun, which was GOOD. He doesn't eat very well, very few things sit well with him. He went home this morning and was feeling a little better, his color was pinker. But he was very tired. They go to the doctor tomorrow and well get a blood workup, which my aunt says will tell a lot.
We have rallied so many people in prayer chains and requests. Please continue to pray for him. WE NEED A MIRACLE! I have broke down the past week or two more then normal. My faith is strong enough to tell me that God has it under control, but honestly if I hear one more time that God never gives up more then we can handle I will lose it. Now with that said nobody is saying this to be insensitive just the opposite. I know they just are trying to help me feel better. I know this is out of my control and God a Miracle worker and high physician! But my uncle is my big brother. I just want to take his pain and sickness away. We were at the hospital last night and talking about the younger years, the jokes and tender moments.
Yesterday I got a call from my Aunt, stating my uncle's blood count was extremely LOW. He went to his doctor at The West Clinic here in Memphis and they said he count was 21. For a man the normal is 50's. They sent him to be admitted to the hospital for another blood transfusion. I got off work and meet them at the hospital. He needed 2 to 3 pints of blood, each pint takes about 3 hours. They finally got started on it about 9pm. He did eat pretty good before they begun, which was GOOD. He doesn't eat very well, very few things sit well with him. He went home this morning and was feeling a little better, his color was pinker. But he was very tired. They go to the doctor tomorrow and well get a blood workup, which my aunt says will tell a lot.
We have rallied so many people in prayer chains and requests. Please continue to pray for him. WE NEED A MIRACLE! I have broke down the past week or two more then normal. My faith is strong enough to tell me that God has it under control, but honestly if I hear one more time that God never gives up more then we can handle I will lose it. Now with that said nobody is saying this to be insensitive just the opposite. I know they just are trying to help me feel better. I know this is out of my control and God a Miracle worker and high physician! But my uncle is my big brother. I just want to take his pain and sickness away. We were at the hospital last night and talking about the younger years, the jokes and tender moments.
New to All This
I couldn't sleep tonight too much on my mind. So I came across a few friends who had started blogs to communicate the current news going on in their family. I thought well that would be a great idea. We have family all over and some are harder to keep in touch then others. As much as Facebook has kept us up with family and friends, there really is only so much we would like to share to that whole world! I hope that I can keep this up. But we will see. If anyone has thoughts or ideas to help keep this up, we are open to suggestions.
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